put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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