I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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