Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
