you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
