I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
