oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We had to coat check the pizza.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
