Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
