Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
