I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
