just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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