Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I need moral support for this bender
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
