she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
