I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
