just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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