i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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