i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
