Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize