Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
