So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
