home. puking in laundry basket.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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