Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
