i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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