I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
