we have pet lesbian snakes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
