margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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