I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
