Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
