The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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