You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
