I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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