Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
