I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Found your dick twin last night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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