It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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