we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize