i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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