At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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