I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
