Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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