it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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