Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
