CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
