I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
