I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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