Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
