This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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