So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
