so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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