i may or may not be watching the land before time
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize