She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
