I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
