she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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