You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
