why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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