jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We just shotgunned beers for America
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize