I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
