Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
