The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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