i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
