the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
