If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
