You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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