Tell her she can't have a vagina
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
