Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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