this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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