I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
birth control should be required to get into college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
