so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
