in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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