its not stalking. its research.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
