I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I pour the whiskey from now on
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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