Will you blow on my dice?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
