we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
