I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize