i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
