there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
