i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
