i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
