she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
