I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
