Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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