shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
